Shane wanted to let the world know that our boys, Flight of the Conchords, are featured in this month’s issue of Playboy.  Of course we totally condone reading Playboy anyways, just saying.  Been a long time since Shane has been with a woman and all…  

Danity Kane broke up?  Whew, Led Zeppelin is safe at the top.  Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief…

For more gratuitous female body analysis, we present to you “analysis of the legs.”

“I would not be excited about getting Bush and losing Dirk. In fact, you should be pretty pissed off.  Matt Bush has been called the worst number one pick in history.  He was only drafted first by the Padres because the other top two prospects (Stephen Drew and Jared Weaver) were represented by Scott Boras and they didn’t want to pay a lot of money. He’s a complete a$$hole who gets in fights.”

“Is that not basically what I said? ‘We are getting a top prospect former number one overall who has struggled with injuries and has had some run-ins, but we’ll see. I do hate to see my fave Dirk get cut…’Japan calling’.”

“I just wanted to add some context. ‘Has some run-ins’, is putting it lightly and like I said, he was a number one not because he’s good, but because the Padres are cheap.”

“Okay, so he was the number four overall pick essentially. Yes, a huge bust to date, but Bush is still young and one year he had arm surgery. Still, he throws 95 and was taken number one overall.

That is better than signing Ken Takahashi, a 39 year old Japanese soft tosser.  That being said, even mighty Ken Takahashi could strike your fat a$$ out you fat lacrosse loving f-ck!  Sorry…lost my control again – like Matt Bush. 

JP Ricciardi, is it really fair to Ken Takahashi’s grandkids that he come to North America to play baseball for a year?  JP can be so selfish sometimes.

Bush did get a $3 million plus signing bonus with San Diego, so he must have been pretty good at some point. So, we disagree there. He must have been good in high school to go number one or else he must have had a really hot girlfriend.”

“If you are the 2009 Blue Jays you get BOTH Bush and Takahashi. Yea!!  Toronto Blue Jays baseball, it’s faaaaaaaaaaantastic!”

“I can only really be excited if I am the pitching coach of the Single A Dunedin Jays team where both Bush and Takahashi will play. By the way, Halladay is scheduled to start 162 for the big club. Of course, Roberto Alomar will be in court.”

“Did you see the Robbie Alomar story?  Robbie was allegedly raped by two Mexicans when he was 17!?!?”

“Who knows what the truth is… she might know best I guess.  I side with Roberto until further notice.  She also might be crazy like Big Shaney…”

“Big Shaney is NOT crazy….”

Now for a small tasty sample from the site I bring you, the corn dog pizza:

This is why your're fat.

 And of course the bacon explosion:

This is woven bacon wrapped around sausage, wrapped around more bacon and then covered in bbq sauce.

Shane, you can rest easy tonight.  This is why you are fat.

 
The ACC basketball standings don’t help Lowe’s case much, but he can always look to get a jacket like Norm Sloan to distract us!

Perhaps Trevor Ferguson can morph into David Thompson. 

Anybody up for some Spam spaghetti carbonara?

Maybe it’s a damn Shane that Larry Fitzgerald’s record setting post season will be overshadowed by the inability of the Cardinals’ defense to stop the Steelers on their final drive in the 4^th quarter of Super Bowl XLIII, allowing Arizona not to win their first Super Bowl in franchise history.  What more can one guy do in under five minutes to help his team win?

It’s also a damn Shane that James Harrison wasn’t ejected. Apparently taking an interception to the house for 100 yards and a new Super Bowl record allows you some dirty play for the low, low price of half the distance to the goal line. I believe it was Dicky’s cousin, Vince, who once said:

  ”Some of us will do our jobs well and some will not, but we will all be judged by only one thing – the result.”

Let’s see…NFL Defensive Player of the Year, longest interception return in Super Bowl history and being able to hoist the Super Bowl trophy supposedly named after Dicky Lombardi….not a bad year James, but you should still be ashaned of that terrible display of sportsmanship.

It has to be a damn Shane that there are not enough spacious and roomy shoes nowadays suitable for large family dwelling. I mean holy crap, eight at one time. Dick Van Patten would definitely be impressed. “Eight is Enough“…yeah whatever, what about “Eight at One Time”? Take that, Bradford family!  Now that I think about it, it’s really a damn Shane that there are not more booming brood reality shows on television. I know there has to be a Shane load of people out there who just can’t get enough of “John & Kate Plus Eight” or “17 Kids and Counting“.

And lastly it’s really a damn Shane that the Tough Brets disbandoned, or is it disbanded? Anyway, stay cool because Shane will, and know that it does hurt Shane’s feelings that more people are not reading this blog.  So stop dissin’ SS&T and get your Shane on…